Offer yourself, warts and all, to God for his purposes, to model yourself on him1. To be quick to listen2, slow to speak3, and slow to anger4; and if/when you fail; to humble yourself5, confess your sins to (God &) each other, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed6. "Listen" (& "look") for what God is doing, for the "Chairos" (or Kairos) timing7 of God, to change, and learn, & grow in wisdom, strength and presence, and in favour & loyalty with God & man8. To be devoted to him. To be leaning forward, out of responsive love9! (In this way a romantic love relationship, or marriage, is just a faint picture, or model of God's relationship with us10)
1. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. Romans 6:13 NIVUK
Jesus (our model), modelled himself on what he saw his Father doing, called us to do nothing less - the same, & consecrated himself for this purpose. "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. ‘My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. ‘Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. ‘Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.’ John 17:17-26 NIVUK; + John 5:19; 8:38; 14:31
2. Jesus' little brother, James, says that everyone who wishes to follow Jesus ought to take special note, of these qualities, " My dear brothers, everyone of you must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19-20). And God is billed in the OT during the Exodus, as hearing his people's complaints, and taking note of their suffering. And God's Servant says of YHWH something like this: "Morning by morning he wakens me, wakens my eyes to see, opens my ears, like a disciple, disciple who hears, I will respond and obey (though through tears)". Isa 50:4-9; 53:7-12
3. See point 2 above, and take note of how often God speaks audibly. He certainly seems "Slow to speak", not that he doesn't speak, he is just slow to speak, and then when he does speak he "strengthens the weary"... Isa 50:4-9; 53:7-12
4. See point 2 above, and take note of The words anounced regarding God when Moses is allowed to see the back of God, or the place where he just was: "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and ...
Ex 34:6; Num14:18; Ps 86:15; 103:8; 145:8; Neh 9:17
5. Ex 10:3; 2 Chronic 34:27; 2 Kings22:19; Dan 5:22; 10;12;
6. LK 6:42; 1 John 1:9; James 5:16; Ps 32:5; Prov28:13
7. Jesus (our model) got his sense of timing* (not a habit of looking at a watch, but a habit of looking out, watching. Looking "up", and "around about him" to get a sense of timing) from God, possibly looking (like his apostle, Paul, did, in his letters later on) for faith, hope, or love growing in those God sent him to lead/serve. e.g. John 2:3-4; 7:6-10,30; 11:4-15; Mark 2:5; 4:40; 5:34; 5:35-36,39; 6:5-6; Especially look at his responses and sense of timing, and the ways he talks about that.
8. 1Sam 2:26; Prov 2:1-5; 3:4; Luke 2:52
9. One of the Servant Songs scattered through the second half of Isaiah: Isa 50:4-8: "The Sovereign LORD has taught me what to say, so that I can strengthen the weary. Every morning he makes me eager to hear what he is going to teach me. The LORD has given me understanding, and I have not rebelled or turned away from him. I bared my back to those who beat me. I did not stop them when they insulted me, when they pulled out the hairs of my beard and spat in my face. But their insults cannot hurt me because the Sovereign LORD gives me help. I brace myself to endure them. I know that I will not be disgraced, for God is near, and he will prove me innocent." Isaiah 50:4-8 GNBUK
10. Paul's explanation to the gentile nations about marriage:
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty — pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (People never hate their own bodies. Instead, they feed them and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; for we are members of his body.) As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.” There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33 GNBUK
*Read this short (4 page) story by Penelope Wilcox on Chairos/Kairos, and this page for help identifying Kairos moments. Once that has been combined with something like the Kolb Learning Cycle in a community setting you get something like what is presented in this 3 min general intro video on learning from Chairos (or Kairos) moments, or this 13 min video with some more explanation.
